I just reread my last post and I'm feeling a bit like Rip Van Winkle. It's only been a week since I posted, but it feels a lot longer. And I wish I could have told you that I went ahead and took the week off work to sleep, but instead it feels like I just slept-walked through the past seven days.
Actually it wasn’t all bad, although early in the week I got into my tired-everything-sucks-and-I-suck-with-it death spiral of despair because 1) I was tired (see most of my posts re: lack of sleep) and 2) I have children who are smart, annoying, messy, annoying, clueless, annoying and exhausting. But I pulled out of the dive, got everyone to their respective camps and home again with no real incidents. Work didn’t suck and I got a lot done. Then all of a sudden it was the weekend and the kids were gone off to their dad’s house for two weeks and I had a long weekend to spend with my honey – which was great and ended much too quickly and BAM, it’s Monday again.
This ramble reminds me of the sword swallower we saw at the Renaissance Festival in June. We had seen him the previous year, so his shtick was familiar. He stands up front and makes a few jokes. He comments on people coming in late, asks how they are doing, etc. He talks a little about how he got started in clown school. He reminds the kids, “Do not try this at home.” Basically, he does a lot of what seems like warm-up patter. However, and this is the part I forgot until now, right before he gets started on the main event, he says, “I try to see how long I can go into the show before I actually have to swallow a sword.” He is good at what he does, but it’s physically difficult and he doesn’t mind delaying it for some banter with the audience. He said his best stall ever was 22 minutes, but we’d gotten him to 18 this time, so he was okay with that.
So far my stall has been about 350 words. I really didn’t have a topic to write on, or an insight into writing, but I’d like to get 500 words on the page, so if I have to stall and talk about taking my kids to see funny may who swallows knives, swords and balloons, I don’t have any false pride about just rambling on until I hit my goal. I’m no Ray Bradbury, writing 1000 words a day when he was twelve, but I believe that if I can just keep producing coherent sentences every day, eventually I will have something really great to show the audience and they will want to hand me five dollar bills at the back of the auditorium – or buy my books for $24.95 hardcover, $14.95 trade paperback at Barnes & Noble.
I’ve only got to compose another sentence or two and then I can escape to bed and try to rest up for another fun-filled day.
Whew, made it.
~Noelle 07/21/08
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sleep, benefits of
I have discovered another crucial ingredient to the excellent writing surge - plenty of rest and mental space to think.
When I was doing my happy dance in print last night, it really did not occur to me that yesterday was Sunday and I was at my most rested of the week, having Friday and Saturday nights to get the full eight hours (more like ten), plus the little naps during the day on Saturday and Sunday and a very light work load (just laundry, really). Tonight, I feel like I've been beaten with a tired and stupid stick and that's because: only seven hours sleep, a long commute, a loooong work day, a long commute back, dinner for children, visit to car repair shop, various house responsibilities and some pretty but pointless television watching. I'm surprised I'm still upright and typing - well, I am kind of slouching.
I'm worried, too, because Monday is usually a pretty good day for me (see note above re: being well rested) and from there the week kind of slides into apathy. I'm surprised I get out of bed on Friday mornings, being so far behind on rest and underwater on caring about almost anything; I have a long list of worries to buoy me that includes work, household maintenance, my children's social skills, global warming and China's lousy human rights policies. The way I feel now, I may have to quit my job on Wednesday to stay home and nap (and yes, I'm kidding, but I don't want to be).
I am off to bed now to try to get to seven and a half hours at least before starting on day two of the weekday cycle. I feel like there should be a Wagner joke in here, something about cycles and multiple days, but I'm too tired to think of it. Maybe tomorrow.
~Noelle 07/14/08
When I was doing my happy dance in print last night, it really did not occur to me that yesterday was Sunday and I was at my most rested of the week, having Friday and Saturday nights to get the full eight hours (more like ten), plus the little naps during the day on Saturday and Sunday and a very light work load (just laundry, really). Tonight, I feel like I've been beaten with a tired and stupid stick and that's because: only seven hours sleep, a long commute, a loooong work day, a long commute back, dinner for children, visit to car repair shop, various house responsibilities and some pretty but pointless television watching. I'm surprised I'm still upright and typing - well, I am kind of slouching.
I'm worried, too, because Monday is usually a pretty good day for me (see note above re: being well rested) and from there the week kind of slides into apathy. I'm surprised I get out of bed on Friday mornings, being so far behind on rest and underwater on caring about almost anything; I have a long list of worries to buoy me that includes work, household maintenance, my children's social skills, global warming and China's lousy human rights policies. The way I feel now, I may have to quit my job on Wednesday to stay home and nap (and yes, I'm kidding, but I don't want to be).
I am off to bed now to try to get to seven and a half hours at least before starting on day two of the weekday cycle. I feel like there should be a Wagner joke in here, something about cycles and multiple days, but I'm too tired to think of it. Maybe tomorrow.
~Noelle 07/14/08
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The new project
I am about to toot my own horn, so cover your ears if it’s too much.
Colette and I have been talking about working on a new project, the one I alluded to in an earlier post. Well, it's up and going and called "How NOT to Lose Weight on a Diet" and its link is here: http://hownottoloseweight.blogspot.com/.
Here is the horn tooting part: as my contribution, I have just sent in an intro and a short piece on one of my MANY dieting attempts and failures, to the tune of 1300 words combined. It is quite possible that I actually wrote too much and Colette may have to edit for space and readability, but the part where I sat down for an hour and a half and cranked the words out really has really got me feeling good. Compared to other evenings when it has felt like I was low crawling through machine gun fire to get any words on the page, tonight feels like I am rolling over the writing terrain in a Sherman tank.
What a great feeling, to get a hit off that writing high. Of course, now I’m just going to get the munchies… Ooh, maybe I can use that for the new blog, too. Ha! This is very exciting for me and I can only hope that some of my enthusiasm can come through on the page to you. It is incredible to be a writer, to really feel like that writing is a part of who you are, who you have to be. That’s the place that I feel like I’m in tonight and I hope that you get to come hang out in the club, too, because the doorman is in a good mood and feeling like anyone with two good words to rub together gets to come in and boogie.
Write on.
~Noelle 07/13/08
Colette and I have been talking about working on a new project, the one I alluded to in an earlier post. Well, it's up and going and called "How NOT to Lose Weight on a Diet" and its link is here: http://hownottoloseweight.blogspot.com/.
Here is the horn tooting part: as my contribution, I have just sent in an intro and a short piece on one of my MANY dieting attempts and failures, to the tune of 1300 words combined. It is quite possible that I actually wrote too much and Colette may have to edit for space and readability, but the part where I sat down for an hour and a half and cranked the words out really has really got me feeling good. Compared to other evenings when it has felt like I was low crawling through machine gun fire to get any words on the page, tonight feels like I am rolling over the writing terrain in a Sherman tank.
What a great feeling, to get a hit off that writing high. Of course, now I’m just going to get the munchies… Ooh, maybe I can use that for the new blog, too. Ha! This is very exciting for me and I can only hope that some of my enthusiasm can come through on the page to you. It is incredible to be a writer, to really feel like that writing is a part of who you are, who you have to be. That’s the place that I feel like I’m in tonight and I hope that you get to come hang out in the club, too, because the doorman is in a good mood and feeling like anyone with two good words to rub together gets to come in and boogie.
Write on.
~Noelle 07/13/08
Saturday, July 12, 2008
In under the wire
I took last night off from blogging, mainly to sleep. I was checking my email at 9:45 and falling asleep at the screen, so I decided it would be best if I just went to bed. (If you got a blank email from me, it's because I was nodding off and clicking the mouse as I went out - very funny.) I had already been at work all day, then home to get my daughter, off to dinner with the husband and brother-in-law and it had been a long day.
Today, I was up again early to get daughter gone to her dad's house then running an errand into town – Scott needed new sneakers and I needed two pairs of new work shoes – and picking up the son from a week away at camp, then lunch, another errand, back to the house to hand son off to father, over to get brother-in-law to go see Hancock (great movie, btw, more later if I think of it), dinner, then home to veg and watch Cloverfield with the hubby (an okay movie, it was what it advertised it was). All I'm saying is, it's been a crowded day of supposedly chilling for a day because it's the weekend.
What does this have to do with writing and being a writer? Well, I’d like to think my devotion to this project, by coming upstairs tonight at eleven p.m. to get it done, shows some resolve. I hope it means I gaining some self-awareness of myself and how/when/if I really want to be a writer as an avocation. I knew I took last night off. I did it deliberately as I was putting myself to bed. I wasn’t pretending that I forgot or that I would get up later and do it. I also decided that one night off was all I was going to allow.
There was a discussion here about taking weekends off from writing. Based on what I’ve read of the authors I admire, I don’t think that’s a plan that can work. As far as I can tell, and I welcome differing opinions to get a discussion going, writers write every day. Okay, or think about writing, or talk about writing, or try to sell their writing, every day.
I think being a writer needs to fall into the category of behaviors that include addictions. Possibly this is because I have the addictive personality type and would love to be able to use the power for good instead of evil. But possibly because writing, as an advanced civilization form of storytelling, can get right down to the lower brain part of us that drives compulsion and addiction and crazy-got-to-do-it behavior. And how great to be able to tap into that part of our psyche that spurs an all-consuming drive to act.
Yes, I am sounding a little maniacal. If I do an Agatha Christie – lose my memory, check into a fancy spa – use this material to confirm that I am a complete nut job, get my Social Security disability, and leave me at home with a day nurse, a spiral notebook and a pencil. Wait, maybe that was my plan all along…
Got to go. The midnight deadline approaches.
~Noelle 07/12/08
Today, I was up again early to get daughter gone to her dad's house then running an errand into town – Scott needed new sneakers and I needed two pairs of new work shoes – and picking up the son from a week away at camp, then lunch, another errand, back to the house to hand son off to father, over to get brother-in-law to go see Hancock (great movie, btw, more later if I think of it), dinner, then home to veg and watch Cloverfield with the hubby (an okay movie, it was what it advertised it was). All I'm saying is, it's been a crowded day of supposedly chilling for a day because it's the weekend.
What does this have to do with writing and being a writer? Well, I’d like to think my devotion to this project, by coming upstairs tonight at eleven p.m. to get it done, shows some resolve. I hope it means I gaining some self-awareness of myself and how/when/if I really want to be a writer as an avocation. I knew I took last night off. I did it deliberately as I was putting myself to bed. I wasn’t pretending that I forgot or that I would get up later and do it. I also decided that one night off was all I was going to allow.
There was a discussion here about taking weekends off from writing. Based on what I’ve read of the authors I admire, I don’t think that’s a plan that can work. As far as I can tell, and I welcome differing opinions to get a discussion going, writers write every day. Okay, or think about writing, or talk about writing, or try to sell their writing, every day.
I think being a writer needs to fall into the category of behaviors that include addictions. Possibly this is because I have the addictive personality type and would love to be able to use the power for good instead of evil. But possibly because writing, as an advanced civilization form of storytelling, can get right down to the lower brain part of us that drives compulsion and addiction and crazy-got-to-do-it behavior. And how great to be able to tap into that part of our psyche that spurs an all-consuming drive to act.
Yes, I am sounding a little maniacal. If I do an Agatha Christie – lose my memory, check into a fancy spa – use this material to confirm that I am a complete nut job, get my Social Security disability, and leave me at home with a day nurse, a spiral notebook and a pencil. Wait, maybe that was my plan all along…
Got to go. The midnight deadline approaches.
~Noelle 07/12/08
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My evening's plot
I’ve been reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon. I started it a few weeks ago, then picked it up tonight as part of my campaign to do more of what I like – reading, reading, reading, writing, cross stitch and napping. The book was recommended to me by a person who I otherwise think of as pretty flaky, but who seems to have the same taste in books as me, as she also got me started on Neil Gaiman, who is part of my personal pantheon of best writers ever.
Chabon does an amazing thing with description and well-paced action that pulls you along through the story. I’m still close to the beginning, so we are meeting the various characters, the main ones to root for, the bad ones to despise and the supporting cast to walk along with, and getting to like the protagonists. Soon, though, there is going to be a reversal in fortunes for one or the other of them and I am going to be upset on their behalf.
Sometimes I stop reading when I get to that point, because so many authors are so heavy handed with the stumbling blocks that plot requires be put in front of their characters for conflict and resolution. In writing classes Tony Grooms used to say, and he was not the first, that conflict made a story. No conflict, no story. So my protagonists, who I am getting attached to, cannot just be born into a comfortable situation, live carefree lives and stroll off into the sunset being naturally healthy, wealthy and wise. I know the two main characters live to be successful, so they personally will be okay, but I am not looking forward to what Chabon does to the people around them.
I hated having to tear myself away from the book, but I made a deal with myself for 45 minutes of reading, then 30 minutes of writing. I actually read for closer to 55 minutes, but I had to end at a chapter or at least a logical break in the story flow. The writing is actually happening quite a bit later, because I was balancing my checkbook online, then I had a date to watch Penn & Teller Bullshit, then I got distracted by miscellaneous stuff on the television. (I told Scott that when he and his BFF Eric are off on vacation next year, I am turning off the cable – and I might really mean it.)
Distractions notwithstanding, I am back here writing, which is the key part of this story. I was going along good with the reading of actual literature and good intentions of writing, got sidetracked and almost waylaid by the demons of the computer and television, but then was able get myself off the couch and back up here to get the words down on paper. No one died, there were no explosions, and no hot guys showed us their abs, biceps or pecs, but still a successful story for me when it’s all done – which is now so I can go to bed and start over tomorrow.
~Noelle 07/10/08
Chabon does an amazing thing with description and well-paced action that pulls you along through the story. I’m still close to the beginning, so we are meeting the various characters, the main ones to root for, the bad ones to despise and the supporting cast to walk along with, and getting to like the protagonists. Soon, though, there is going to be a reversal in fortunes for one or the other of them and I am going to be upset on their behalf.
Sometimes I stop reading when I get to that point, because so many authors are so heavy handed with the stumbling blocks that plot requires be put in front of their characters for conflict and resolution. In writing classes Tony Grooms used to say, and he was not the first, that conflict made a story. No conflict, no story. So my protagonists, who I am getting attached to, cannot just be born into a comfortable situation, live carefree lives and stroll off into the sunset being naturally healthy, wealthy and wise. I know the two main characters live to be successful, so they personally will be okay, but I am not looking forward to what Chabon does to the people around them.
I hated having to tear myself away from the book, but I made a deal with myself for 45 minutes of reading, then 30 minutes of writing. I actually read for closer to 55 minutes, but I had to end at a chapter or at least a logical break in the story flow. The writing is actually happening quite a bit later, because I was balancing my checkbook online, then I had a date to watch Penn & Teller Bullshit, then I got distracted by miscellaneous stuff on the television. (I told Scott that when he and his BFF Eric are off on vacation next year, I am turning off the cable – and I might really mean it.)
Distractions notwithstanding, I am back here writing, which is the key part of this story. I was going along good with the reading of actual literature and good intentions of writing, got sidetracked and almost waylaid by the demons of the computer and television, but then was able get myself off the couch and back up here to get the words down on paper. No one died, there were no explosions, and no hot guys showed us their abs, biceps or pecs, but still a successful story for me when it’s all done – which is now so I can go to bed and start over tomorrow.
~Noelle 07/10/08
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
An office decluttering post
Whoops, I almost went to bed without posting. The main reason is that it is Wednesday night and I had to clear space for the cleaning people. Please, save your jokes about cleaning for the cleaning people. The issue is that they clean surfaces - sinks, toilets, floors, etc. - and if they cannot reach a surface, they don't clean it. They do a certain amount of stacking things up and making them neat, but I want them to do the real scrubbing that I don't want to do. Plus, I own too much stuff and leave it around too much anyway, so getting rid of trash, emptying and loading the dishwasher and putting away the clean laundry is something I should be doing on a regular basis. It's just that Wednesday nights give me the kick in the ass I need to get it done.
I have been thinking since my rant the other night about my DWP (designated writing place) and I think I’ve got a game plan for clearing some mental space to write by clearing some physical space. My goal is to take one box (the kind copier paper comes in) of stuff out of my office every day. Tonight, I threw away a bunch of miscellaneous junk that was piled on my reading chair – a comfy Queen Anne chair and ottoman from my previous life - including a power cord to a printer that is long gone, a pair of jeans that have seen better days, and an old kid Halloween costume. There is no good reason for the last two items to even be in here, but there they were, keeping the chair from its primary mission of giving me a place to hang and read, or do cross stitch, or just close my eyes for ten minutes.
I also jettisoned office organizers that just encourage piling stuff up on the desk – a little one for envelopes (because I have so many letters going out every day) and a big vertical stacking one. In fact, I took the same kind off my desk at work today, too, because it was just encouraging me to keep stuff “just in case” on my desk, when what I want to do is just look at one project at a time. Back in the home office, I cleared off a shelf of loose pictures and memory stuff from trips and piled it up in a box in my closet on a shelving unit I put in there a few months ago to hold all this stuff I don’t want to look at. Eventually, I will get those pictures in albums, or not, but I needed that shelf to put some of the many journals (see earlier post, below, concerning the many, many journals) that were hanging around on my desk.
Just now, I moved the speakers down off the top of the desk, too, and put up just the beehive ginger jar Scott got me for my birthday. Wow, it’s like having a whole new piece of furniture, the kind I wanted when I saw the display at the store.
Sorry, I know this wasn’t really a writing post, but sometimes the process is about getting to the place where one can write. Now I need to see about getting a new chair. This one is killing my butt.
~Noelle 07/09/08
I have been thinking since my rant the other night about my DWP (designated writing place) and I think I’ve got a game plan for clearing some mental space to write by clearing some physical space. My goal is to take one box (the kind copier paper comes in) of stuff out of my office every day. Tonight, I threw away a bunch of miscellaneous junk that was piled on my reading chair – a comfy Queen Anne chair and ottoman from my previous life - including a power cord to a printer that is long gone, a pair of jeans that have seen better days, and an old kid Halloween costume. There is no good reason for the last two items to even be in here, but there they were, keeping the chair from its primary mission of giving me a place to hang and read, or do cross stitch, or just close my eyes for ten minutes.
I also jettisoned office organizers that just encourage piling stuff up on the desk – a little one for envelopes (because I have so many letters going out every day) and a big vertical stacking one. In fact, I took the same kind off my desk at work today, too, because it was just encouraging me to keep stuff “just in case” on my desk, when what I want to do is just look at one project at a time. Back in the home office, I cleared off a shelf of loose pictures and memory stuff from trips and piled it up in a box in my closet on a shelving unit I put in there a few months ago to hold all this stuff I don’t want to look at. Eventually, I will get those pictures in albums, or not, but I needed that shelf to put some of the many journals (see earlier post, below, concerning the many, many journals) that were hanging around on my desk.
Just now, I moved the speakers down off the top of the desk, too, and put up just the beehive ginger jar Scott got me for my birthday. Wow, it’s like having a whole new piece of furniture, the kind I wanted when I saw the display at the store.
Sorry, I know this wasn’t really a writing post, but sometimes the process is about getting to the place where one can write. Now I need to see about getting a new chair. This one is killing my butt.
~Noelle 07/09/08
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The desk as a stumbling block
I’m thinking that my designated writing place (DWP) is not really the best place to write. My DWP is my office, which is my sole domain – people and children are only allowed in with permission – but it occurs to me that once I get in here, I don’t get a lot of writing done.
For one thing, the chair I’m using is my son’s old desk chair. I set it at its highest setting, but within 15 minutes it has lowered itself way down, so that I am looking up at my computer screen instead of facing it directly. And screws keep coming out of the bottom, so I’m not sure what is even holding the seat onto the frame. Every once in a while I flip the chair over and replace the screws, but they just pop out again – about one per week. And it’s not that comfortable a chair anyway. I’m using it because my desk chair died about a year and a half ago and I haven’t gotten around to getting a new one.
My desk, which I bought specially at Wal-Mart and put together, is a cute little cherry number. However, the graceful lines and subdued styling are obscured by the junk I have piled all over it – kid photographs, bills to be paid, miscellaneous pieces of paper I think I need to act on but need to read again, program CD’s, two old cell phones I need to get the pictures off of, etc. My desk is a standing to-do list that distracts and stresses me.
I’ve been working on clearing the desk off, but it’s slow going. In order to clean it off, I have to find a place for everything, and the room has other clutter issues, like a bookcase that is overfull of graduate school writings, books I got from my mom that I haven’t weeded out yet and a whole shelf of photos to go into albums; four boxes of junk from my daughter’s room when we cleared her some space, plus her writing table and doll house; and two filing cabinets, one in daily use, the other just hanging around. I have been telling myself that this room needs to be cleaned up, but putting all this down on (electronic) paper just fires me up to get it all gone and out of sight. I did get rid of the collectable dolls that had been stored in a moving box for the last ten years, so that is progress. Now I need to clear some more space and get all the non-writing stuff out of sight.
The other non-writing issue I have is that I like to sit down at this, the writing computer, and surf the ‘Net, download my checking account info and generally goof off. So far my bedtime deadline has kept me writing the blog, but I’m going to need a longer-term solution for the personal writing. I think the proposed solutions for that are going to have to wait for another blog. One thing at a time so my brain doesn’t explode.
Look, 500 words. Excellent. Talk to you tomorrow.
~Noelle 07/08/08
For one thing, the chair I’m using is my son’s old desk chair. I set it at its highest setting, but within 15 minutes it has lowered itself way down, so that I am looking up at my computer screen instead of facing it directly. And screws keep coming out of the bottom, so I’m not sure what is even holding the seat onto the frame. Every once in a while I flip the chair over and replace the screws, but they just pop out again – about one per week. And it’s not that comfortable a chair anyway. I’m using it because my desk chair died about a year and a half ago and I haven’t gotten around to getting a new one.
My desk, which I bought specially at Wal-Mart and put together, is a cute little cherry number. However, the graceful lines and subdued styling are obscured by the junk I have piled all over it – kid photographs, bills to be paid, miscellaneous pieces of paper I think I need to act on but need to read again, program CD’s, two old cell phones I need to get the pictures off of, etc. My desk is a standing to-do list that distracts and stresses me.
I’ve been working on clearing the desk off, but it’s slow going. In order to clean it off, I have to find a place for everything, and the room has other clutter issues, like a bookcase that is overfull of graduate school writings, books I got from my mom that I haven’t weeded out yet and a whole shelf of photos to go into albums; four boxes of junk from my daughter’s room when we cleared her some space, plus her writing table and doll house; and two filing cabinets, one in daily use, the other just hanging around. I have been telling myself that this room needs to be cleaned up, but putting all this down on (electronic) paper just fires me up to get it all gone and out of sight. I did get rid of the collectable dolls that had been stored in a moving box for the last ten years, so that is progress. Now I need to clear some more space and get all the non-writing stuff out of sight.
The other non-writing issue I have is that I like to sit down at this, the writing computer, and surf the ‘Net, download my checking account info and generally goof off. So far my bedtime deadline has kept me writing the blog, but I’m going to need a longer-term solution for the personal writing. I think the proposed solutions for that are going to have to wait for another blog. One thing at a time so my brain doesn’t explode.
Look, 500 words. Excellent. Talk to you tomorrow.
~Noelle 07/08/08
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